The clock in my cellular device, the calendar in the gadget speaks the same language-‘Tic Toc Tic Toc”. Calendar changes date almost in a flash, watch speeds like a jet!
There I am, watching both and wondering, “How to keep pace with this? There is so much to do and time is always scarce.” You might be imagining yourself in my place, isn’t it?
We all experience this, ever pondered over the reason(s)? I am sure, big words like Procrastination, III Time Management, Improper Planning, Poor Organizing Skills, Deft Implementation and all other managerial terms are doing rounds in your mind. Not that anything is wrong in that, but what is right also? Thinking of almost all aforesaid put us in “Self-Limiting belief mode”.
It’s no rocket science, but certainly a mammoth barricade in moving towards our goals. Self-Limiting Belief stops us from taking that chance which may lead to our promotion and turn into our watershed, or it may stop us from replying to that question asked in a group, of which we know answer but we are timid and unsure about how it will be taken.
Does it seem like you in the context? It is quite possible. So should we just accept it and remain silent to get back into that vicious circle of parking our today’s target onto tomorrow and then next and yet another next or we are willing to understand the time and calendar for ourselves. Here, I will start with my content and request you to relate it in your context so that I may be able to move you from self-limiting belief to self-freeing belief. Are you with me, I am sure you are!
I start my day as early as 5:30 am to ensure freshly cooked food by me for my son and my family. First phase of my day is cooking in the morning, making my son ready for school and dropping him at bus stop. Then I return for second phase of my day which starts at 7 am and it demands me to get ready and leave for my workplace (which is not permanent as I am a freelancer) around 7:45 am. First punch of pressure that has shown up is, “I could not do any physical exercise, there comes a not very convincing reply that ,never mind I will do it in evening, when I will drop my son to his Basketball class”. This happens because everything else but my health is imperative to be taken care of. Anyways I enter third phase of my day with my subconscious burdened with, you know what. I start my car and take control of the wheels, talking to myself in my head about what am I going to do today to make my training or coaching sessions effective and longed for. A chunk of ideas are flowing in my mind and I am chaffing them mentally, at times getting cluttered and at times visualizing myself performing and I push myself every day to read something relevant to my field of Coaching and training. I so wish it was always possible, but that’s okay even if I move with ant speed, at least I am inching closer. But what is this, goals seem to be moving farther (VUCA world) .
Second punch, it’s the only time of the day when I can speak with my parents (it’s a major one as well because they both are on their own, though God is kind so far and they are wise for their health, still PARENTS..) I call them up and both of them are waiting for their turns to talk with me, but sad is we don’t have much to talk now as it’s been almost an era since I am married and have different priorities, changed thoughts etc. Subconscious, by now is loaded with yet another weight, my son must lose some weight as our family doctor keeps cautioning us against his growing paunch. And please don’t forget that while all this is happening, clock is tic tocking, I am moving by the clock yet unable to be in the proximity of what I intend to do.
Day keeps passing with some routinized, few mundane and a few interesting tasks subconscious is fighting its own battle against 24 by 7 by 365 system. I can run you through rest of my typical day but whats the point deviating from the key point of discussion and bore you. I have given you the flavour in my context now you have also begun to link it with yours so I must adroitly come to the point. Amidst all this I came across a beautiful message on WhatsApp( this is no less a demon though), which is as follows :” Observe silence for next 7 days, try to keep quiet, give rest to your mind and note the thought pattern your conscious mind goes through on its own, let goo the thought and practice silence again, write the thoughts that come to your mind often. Identify the pattern and then work on it. Remember the more conclusions you draw, the more mess you create” This message acted as the break-state in NLP terminology and I was engrossed in studying my pattern, typical day- tasks to do- prioritizing-manipulating- self-limiting future paced to the next day! During the same duration I was reading a book that talked about self- freeing belief, so with the cushion of Emotional intelligence, Neuro Linguistic Programming, Wellness and Leadership Coach, this message from a psychologist and this book by Sheryl Sandberg I stopped and did a little of cognitive therapy with myself. Ensue is I will not limit my time to a day, a week or a month, I will defy this 24 by 7 by 365 system by creating a time mat of my own, which will have unit of time as long as 10 days or as short as a few minutes, this will entirely depend upon the task. If I haven’t exercised two days a week , doesn’t mean I will let the other 5 days go waste and park it for next week. I will rather start the day I feel gear up and won’t feel bad even if I am unable to do it the very next day of commencement because now my self-freeing belief is —it’s okay to be not okay but don’t generalise that you are not okay. A day is no more my unit of doing the tasks that are solely directed at me, because these are the ones that get ignored and step child treatment. Every day is a unique day for me, I may do something today and something tomorrow and both of them may be different .A book is not meant to be finished in a week or a month, enjoy it and hold on to it for as long as you want to, don’t carry baggage of not doing it in ideally shortest possible time as was your pace in school or college days. It’s a different phase of your life and many other things need your prior attention, but let this not result in limiting yourself to a system of 247365, let’s celebrate and work in each day a new way. Keep doing , if not everything but at least something towards ever parked tasks each day. This will make that clock stop and wait for you, and you won’t need to carry that baggage in your subconscious.
I have found my self-freeing belief about losing weight, reading books, giving time and attention to my family, parent. Think of your Mojo and believe in a presupposition-If Anju can do it, I can do it too. Good Luck!
Your comments are highly solicited and valued. Please do leave your word of wisdom.