Consciousness, Mindfulness, Resilience, Empathy, Self-Awareness, Self-management, Social-Awareness, Relationship Building, Happiness, Presence, Leadership, Open-minded, Positive Intention, Adaptability, Sociability, Emotion Perception, Emotion Expression, Acceptance, Emotion Regulation, Optimism, Positive Psychology, assertiveness seems like a long list? In fact, it is just the tip of the iceberg.
Let’s get into flashback, so I had a long day today which included daily household chores in the morning, lot of travel to an event, heading back, conducting the session, family time, kitchen hours reading, writing, team call, TV time and of course phone calls and whatsApp couldn’t be avoided.
My day started as usual with my early wake-up alarm of 5:30am, my routine speed , momentum and zeal to have small bites of it the whole day and be productive without tardiness. So far nothing to pen down.
My mode of travel was metro, and it is not really any wonder to get just one leg space in metro during office hours. This also was normal, so what did I find worth to take you all through with this piece?
Since past few months one thought has got stuck in my head- Is every aspect of human behavior not his emotional intelligence? And the logic that I have been giving to myself is- pause! You feel it this way only because this is your niche area and that as a coach, trainer, assessor you are eating and sleeping nothing but El. Also, your brain is processing every single way to use El as a scalable concept. But, my emotions are not resonating with this logic. Invariably whatever I see, hear, feel, smell of human behavior and his deeds, I connect it with EI
To me a marketer is banking on El by building a story around human emotions. All the products that a marketer floats in the market again has an emotional aspect. To me a teacher is handling students by understanding them (social) and delivering the concept at their level. I am sure the educators here will agree to my point, won’t you? No matter how much you know of a concept, but as an educator you will deliver only as much your kids can comprehend, assimilate and synthesise. Similarly trainers, coaches- they understand the target audience and coaches respectively, match their needs with what they can offer and try to liaison. This again is Self and Social awareness. As parents we understand our affordability in terms of finances, time, strength and then we also weigh the interest, strength of our kids and accordingly make choices for them. An image consultant is not only telling people how to dress , but is also training the person about himself, his body structure, what will suit him ,and in the process building his self-awareness. A soft skills trainer is talking about what to speak, how to speak and in the process making a person socially strong to build empathy and relationships, a motivational speaker is encouraging the audience to challenge their own limits and through metaphors, story-telling is getting connected to their emotions and hence making difference in their lives. The organizations are building and following organization culture, which is nothing else but building and following the norms, values in an organization about how people will interact with each other and what will be their no-compromise principles, all still sounds so much emotions and emotional intelligence to me. Nothing so far is (a+b)2 ,so bingo! But does that mean everything (yes, I am using the meta model question of universal quantifier-everything).
So today was nothing different and this thought was enjoying its royal position in my head. I had forgotten to carry my water bottle, which many flask companies plead that we must carry in order to save ourselves from using disposable plastic bottles so that our future generation is saved. Oh did I again use social awareness and empathy? Believe me you, it isn’t anything like I am trying to build a market for my El trainings or Emotional Wellness Coaching. Somehow, I always have that tangent to everything that is being carried out by a human, and it is quite a percentage! So I bought a 500 ml Kinley water bottle from a nearby retail store where I visit very often. While this man at the billing counter was trying to print my bill, his system stopped to respond and usually staff is instructed to not let a customer go without a bill. This man knowing my micro-expressions of rush very well advised me to pay the amount now and collect the bill later. And he very well knew that I wouldn’t mind it because as it is what am Ito do with that bill of INR10/-. So, in this 3 minutes visit he used his inventory of awareness about me and he empathized, trusted me which resulted in timely checkout. Had he got stuck with the policies(exceptions are allowed in some discretionary situations) or I doubted his intentions, this efficacy would not have popped out. Oh man! Seems I am just being too mindful of all the events and linking it to El.
I walked out, boarded metro and was enjoying the chirping of young crowd in the all woman’s coach. My stop was about 12th from now. And it was about 7th station that I heard a girl coughing badly, my head turned as reflex and to my utter surprise , this girl was deep into her mobile phone giggling over something (which is normal for this generation, to be lost in oblivion with gadgets)and this moment she again begun to cough. This time I was aghast to see her coughing badly without covering her mouth very easily enjoying the screen. She was not even aware of this unapproved act of hers, she wasnot mindful of her surrounding and her acts either. Disclaimer now is , since the day is gaining its momentum and so is my royal thought- if every aspect of human is related to El, so please excuse me for using these words as they are coming to me naturally and effortlessly. I hope you all will understand my positive intention behind it. I turned back my head and was weighing if I should make her conscious in the interest of the people around so that nobody catches these microbes from her, while the stops were passing by, and yes! I still had that water bottle in my hand. Till stop number 11, I was upset with this girl, though it mattered to nobody, but only me. It was just a picture in my head and nobody else seemed to bother. And she started coughing even more, so much that she stopped using her mobile phone and water rolled out from her eyes. This time I got aware of the bottle I had in my hand, and I didn’t hesitate to offer her water because she certainly needed it. She also accepted it without a second thought and by the time I got down, she not only said thanks to me , but also returned my bottle. I swear I insisted her to keep the bottle. So,she became aware of my act and I became aware of the bottle. We both did our bid so this game of complementary transaction suggested me to not judge this millennial generation. They are not ill-mannered ,just that they have their own world.
Are you really interested to know that what happened next or do you want to close this piece?I request you to read on. It seems, your mind is already in the direction of gathering the pieces of El from all transactions of behavior with others that you have carried out of late. Well, that’s a good sign, this means you are reading my perspective and also comprehending it.
I had to board another metro on an interchange junction,I was in the all woman coach queue.I heard whistle of this guard, which he blew to a boy accompanying a girl in the same queue. After a few whistles, the guard came to him and instructed-don’t get onto this coach, it is only for ladies. And the boy replied- I am here only to see her off, I won’t board this coach(his expressions were clearly of agitation, perhaps over guard). To this the guard replied in a little raised tone- you should have told this to me earlier, I wouldn’t have bothered you.And the metro arrived, we all boarded. Not the boy!
Coincidentally, this girl and I occupied adjacent seats. She looked to me a very carefree and bold kind of a female. She was talking over phone, and what the hell! She suddenly started sobbing. Initially I ignored, because these kids have their own stuff to deal with. Her call was still on and her sobbing rate was increasing.No body paid any heed, everyone was busy with those earphones you know.l heard her telling to the other person on the phone “Nani ka phone aya thha”, and her tears begun to roll out. I was now aware that she is concerned with something over her maternal granny.And she kept talking, so whatever I gathered made me give it a try to pacify her, and I offered her the same water bottle- remember?Also, I offered her a wet tissue to wipe off her tears and clean her running nose. She accepted both and was still on call. I didn’t feel bad about her not even looking at me, because by then I became aware of her mental state. Metro stopped at my stop, I got up to get down leaving that bottle with her because she needed it more than me. She was still on phone, and she suddenly became aware of my movement, she put the phone on hold, thanked me and I replied-have a good and bright day.So, once again complementary transaction. A happy me deboarded the metro and hopefully gave that girl enough tangible resources to soothe herself.
I can see that expression of “how much more left”,so I will stop here, and if you want I will come back with the second part of my day which actually validated my idea of El being ubiquitous. And it was a design thinker, an agile coach, an image consultant and a transformational coach responsible for it.
They are all with me on Linkedln. My water bottle acted as a trigger for me and hence the name of my piece-El and my Kinley Water Bottle.